The delicate politics of group travel in London

Karma is tough. Ron’s stolen Savoy washcloth was randomly lost yesterday and the stolen pen turned out to be a lemon.

So Ron was probably already feeling a little defeated when we showed up for London Walks’ Brunel’s River Cruise tour with Martin Knights, who is a pretty famous expert on the development of the many bridges of London. The walk used a combination of Thames river boat and train rides to show us the engineering work of Isambard Kingdom Brunel (1806 – 1859). He is considered to be a genius of engineering history and a leader of the Industrial Revolution. He designed the Great Western Railway and the first purpose-built transatlantic steamship. His total lifetime work included over 100 bridges.

Before we signed up for this tour, Ron was provided with the tour summary and a tour video. I told him it might be interesting to get a sense of London history by focusing on one thing: bridges and how those bridges helped make the city such a powerhouse by facilitating trade and population growth. This morning, Ron was offered another chance to read the fine details of this tour and he refused, telling me he had read them. So it was surprising, about an hour in, to have Ron turn to me and say (within earshot of other tour guests) that he does not want to hear the tour guide say the name Brunel anymore, despite Brunel being the sole reason for the tour’s existence. Here’s Ron, “enjoying” the tour:

The tour left us way out of central London, at the Mayflower Pub – established in 1550:

The plan from here was to take a cab back but, over lunch, we decided what we really needed was to ride a double decker red London bus. Famous Brunel tour guide Martin Knights told us we could take the 381 right to Waterloo Station and then just walk a few minutes to the hotel, so we all hopped on:

We made every effort to tap our credit cards onto this bus but could not find a machine, and the driver just stared at us as we waved our credit cards around. We finally just walked upstairs and sat down, adding to our trail of London crimes, which probably perked Ron up after the boring bridge tour.

It’s relaxing to ride on a London bus. The bus speaks to us at every stop – reminding us that we’re on a Waterloo Station route, so we can sit and enjoy the scenery and know we’re not lost. Except that this bus suddenly pulled over and the PA announced that the service had just ended and everyone needed to just get off, which made us feel less-bad about failing to cough up the bus fare.

We were put out somewhere near Borough Market. As we headed back towards the hotel on foot, it became clear that we were going to walk right by my beloved Tate Modern! Kris, in a mixed message of kindness and sarcasm, said that Ron, Kris, and Jim would sit down on a bench for exactly ten minutes so I could go into the “stupid museum”!

When you’re traveling as a group, you really have to be aware of the needs and interests of your touring buddies. And so despite Kris’s kind “offer” of 10 minutes in a museum that measures 371,000 square feet, I felt we should continue on, only to have Jim announce that he needed to stop anyways for a bathroom break. Instead of using a public loo at the museum, Jim, instead, walked into a nearby restaurant and decided to use their private, handicapped bathroom. Apparently, as he “went”, he looked around and saw a long red cord, hanging from the ceiling, and while I feel like you and I know exactly what this red cord is in a handicapped stall, Jim (note: Jim has a college degree AND a law degree) was stumped and decided to the only solution was to pull that red cord. Whatever subterfuge Jim had planned when sneaking into that bathroom was certainly eroded by the incredulous employee who had to come “rescue” Jim from the potty.

Here’s Jim and Ron, after Jim’s been rescued. Jim swore us to secrecy about the bathroom rescue and so I’m only revealing it here, to everyone reading this blog. We’re still there in the photo…in front of the Tate but not in the Tate, waiting for Kris, who disappeared after Jim broke into the bathroom, in search of a restroom of her own, and I mention all of this to point out that I surely had at least 15 or 20 minutes in the Tate, despite Kris’s offer of only 10.

From the Tate, we headed back to the hotel to rest for a bit before we hit the British Museum on their weekly late Friday night hours. Kris felt I should share something positive with all of you about Ron and, in that spirit, you should know that Ron managed 5.2 total miles for the day, including one walking tour he didn’t want to take, one Thames riverboat, one Underground train, one Overground train, and part (but not all!) of a bus ride to Waterloo Station. For his efforts, we spent most of our time at the British Museum in his beloved Egyptian rooms, with 3000 years of assorted mummies and statues of Ramses and Amenhotep III, which we can all easily picture, and so instead I am just sharing this shot of some 2000-year old tweezers and ear scoops that are of more general interest:

I’ll leave you with Ron and Jim on another donut stop. We’re headed up to Edinburgh next!