Eiffel Tower – 1 Kris – 0

I’ve never wanted to go up the Eiffel Tower – the crowds, the heights, the small elevator. But you make compromises for the people you care about.

The Eiffel Tower matters to Kris. She said:

I am definitely going to the top of the Eiffel Tower – even if you guys don’t make it.

So we bought three of the $42 tickets. When it became clear that we had misjudged the walk time from the D’Orsay museum to the Eiffel Tower for a 3:30 entry time, we spent $25 on an Uber across Paris – for a total outlay of $149.

We all made it into the elevator that climbs up to the Level 2 viewing deck. It is rated for 46 people per cabin, when I feel a better number would be 12, but I was proud of myself for getting in there.

However, once I got off the first elevator, I knew I wasn’t getting on that second elevator to get to the top:

I confessed my limitations to Kris and Jim and looked for the stairs to head back to ground level – 674 steps I was all too happy to walk.

I left Kris and Jim waiting for their turn at the second elevator:

I therefore missed the moment when Kris – avowed Eiffel Tower ascendant – panicked as her turn approached – and climbed and vaulted herself – House of TJ Maxx dress climbing up her legs – over turn-styles and railings – until she was free!

(Note: I know Kris loves Jim, but love apparently has its limits as I got a terse text that said she was back down at street level – before me, even! – and had “lost” Jim – who is TERRIFIED of heights – somewhere 377 feet – 35 floors – up on the Eiffel Tower).

(Second note: It was a rough day for Jim. In addition to being abandoned/but still loved at the Eiffel Tower, he was turning around to talk with me on an escalator at the D’Orsay, and he was nearly knocked unconscious by a wall.)

It takes awhile to get to know the nuances of your travel partners. I thought I knew Kris but I was wrong. Going up the Eiffel Tower with or without her is an apparently a broad enough concept to include getting us up there and leaving us to sort out our claustrophobic acrophobia issues on our own. And who am I to comment? Kris is the one with the psychology training – Jim and I are just a couple of lawyers.

The crowded Paris sites have security – guards milling about doing mostly crowd flow control. We tourists outnumber them by about 1000 to 1 and they’re clearly aware of this – we could organize ourselves and commandeer the Mona Lisa or a psychologist from the midwestern US could abandon two attorneys on the Eiffel Tower and no official force will step in.

But it turns out that visiting the less-popular museums leaves you more vulnerable to the unpredictable jurisdiction of the security forces.

We spent a long time at a relatively unknown Paris museum – the Museum of Decorative Arts, covering design, fashion, and furniture.

It’s a really under-touristed building – which is a good thing for checking out their wares – and they’ve got some cool things – like room mock-ups:

And some random art:

But the downside is that the guards outnumber the tourists and they’re bored…underutilized…jealous of their colleagues next door in the Louvre who need to watch over the Mona Lisa when all they’ve got is a large collection of Chairs You Cannot Really Sit On:

They’re itching for a fight, I think – hovering, following us around the rooms. I’ve never had museum guards so intent on watching me watch the art.

I’m already nervous in France – incorrect food choices, personal abandonment…

Kris, Jim, and I all got in trouble numerous times for being too close to items. The required distance from items varied by item and by room…I’m pretty sure that’s a job highlight for them…so it was hard to grasp any learning curve. Each infraction resulted in an alarm going off and it does not say anything positive about our group friendship to admit that we took real glee in the other people’s mis-steps.

Further, Kris got in some serious trouble for…looking out a window (I am NOT making this up!)…and she got a real shellacking from a guard lying in wait. True friend that I am, I saw that angry guard coming and sped off – while still staying close enough to enjoy eavesdropping on the lecture:)

My absolute highlight of our Paris time was our private river cruise down the Seine.

(Note: As I type this up, I feel extra sorry that Jim only has me and Kris to travel with. Jim doesn’t like heights or boats. Jim likes art museums – and looking back at our group time in Paris – we gave Jim exactly 45 minutes in the D’Orsay – 220,000 square feet of Van Gogh, Gauguin, Monet, and Renoir).

We spent a magical 90 minutes cruising at night – broadcasting my Spotify playlist to the Parisians, wine and lemonade on board, watching the magic of Paris that occurs when you’ve survived the Eiffel Tower, the near-beheading at the D’Orsay, and the surly security guards.

It’s been a fantastic break here in Paris – surrounded by friends. The only thing we missed was Ron – loved 4th member of the most hapless – but the happiest! – travel group out there.

I’m back on my own – headed to Switzerland for awhile. I’ll leave you with Jim/Winston Churchill – thanks for always being such a good sport!